Through the Walls

Monday, June 14, 2004


Freedom


Hi there. I hope that you and your loved ones are doing great.

Today, one of my cell mates left this place, in freedom. This is something that always makes me happy, because there’s nothing more beautiful than being able to enjoy freedom. I know that many will think that if someone commits a crime, that they have to pay the consequences, and they’re right. But there are many people in jail who are innocent or that they’ve been sentenced to more years than they really deserve. Anyway, as I was saying... sometimes I wonder, what would be my reaction the day I start going out the door, to my freedom? Will I feel happiness, fear, sadness or something else? I know that I would have to feel really happy that I’m finally going to be able to enjoy my family, but I will leave thinking about the friends that are still behind bars. It may be hard to believe, but in here one’s able to start friendships which are good and true. Not everyone’s like this, but some are. Although, it’s only a few who once they leave this place, write a letter to find out about the well-being of those people they left behind.

I also wonder if those who are free now, are doing things right. Being that this is a really big experience and one learns many things. If one gets out of here with the same mentality as when we got in, sadly, we will end up in jail. And in all the years I’ve been imprisoned, I’ve seen a few come back and with longer sentences than the one before. Even though being in prison is something negative, one can take advantage of it because there are many things to learn. It can be in the Vocational School or in the different workshops they offer in here. From a negative experience can come out something positive. At least, this is what I personally think. I’m not going to give my family any more suffering. They don’t deserve it. They educated me well enough and I failed them.

This is all for now. Here’s another short message which reflects the way I feel for my sons, and I know that the other fathers who are imprisoned feel the same way. Ever since I read it, I liked it and I wanted to share it with all of you.

Father at a Distance

I never thought that my sons would be nurtured and loved by me, their father... at a distance.

I never dreamed that I would be jealous of others, because...

I’m a father at a distance.

I never thought that as my children grew, my picture would be hanging on their walls, because...

I’m a father at a distance.

I never thought I would feel lack of control, lack of power over the life of my sons, because...

I’m a father at a distance.

I never thought that the moments I spend with my sons would be monitored with time limits placed upon us, because...

I’m a father at a distance.

I never thought I would become stuck in the past, just to give my mind relief, because...

I’m a father at a distance.

I guess one would say, “What eases the suffering, this pain, this mental anguish?”

I’m a father at a distance.

Thanks to God who maintains a strong bond between my sons and me, and soothes my pain, because...

I’m a father at a distance.

posted by P.M., 12:40 PM Email This Post

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